Spring Awakening ([info]the_aristobrat) wrote,
@ 2007-07-23 17:36:00
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434.
"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."

Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, what you think of me, your parents, boyfriend, anything. Just make it honest. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what others have to say.

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-23 11:27 pm UTC (link)
i have no place in this world.

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-24 08:43 am UTC (link)
Without knowing who you are, I know for a fact that your statement is false.
Everyone has a place is this world, a purpose, a reason for living.
Right now, you may just have to look for the small places where you fit in.
In the mold of your bed, cuddled up with a book or sitting on a park bench watching children play.
Everyone has a place. It takes time to find it.

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 11:28 am UTC (link)
thank you for your kind words, sweetheart.
i really appreciate them.
but you know, it's hard to find comfort in even little things when all you can think is suicide as soon as possible.
but i try my best to keep on living...i'm not sure if this will ever leave me but one part of me hates the fact i'm too weak to live & wants to fight that.

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[info]hope_is_swift
2007-07-23 11:33 pm UTC (link)
waaaa sara!!! are you sure you want to do this????
i love you, peanut.
xx

ps: i'm not posting anonymously because i am lazy

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-24 08:44 am UTC (link)
Nooooo onesssss replyyyyinnnnnng.

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 12:33 am UTC (link)
you are really nice and i like you a lot,but somtimes your entries confuse me. i gather that you have an eating disorder,but i totally don't know the history of it,or even what it is,etc. it makes me feel that maybe we aren't that close,because you are so kind,sweetie.

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-24 08:47 am UTC (link)
Thank you for the compliments, love.

Yep, I do have an eating disorder. It's one I've been battling for 3 years now.
I was recently discharged from the Renfrew Center in Philadelphia after being
treated for 6 weeks for my bulimia, and it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! This is the place :)

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 05:59 pm UTC (link)
what do you think caused your ed? how many times have you been to treatment? is it just bulimia or anorexia as well? just like,any details or whatever. i want to get to know you better babe! =]

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 12:33 am UTC (link)
I love my Grandma so much
I miss her everyday

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-24 08:45 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you I understand, but I don't.
If you ever need an ear, please come to me. I listen. I don't always say the right thing.
Come to this entry if need be :)

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 04:56 am UTC (link)
im really proud of all the things you've accomplished
& i wish you could see how prettyful you are :]
♥

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-24 08:48 am UTC (link)
Thank you so much :)
I wish I could take in compliments and believe them.
Judging from the pure fact that you're on my friends' list,
I think I can safely assume that you, too, have trouble accepting compliments.
So here's one: no matter who you are from my friends' list, I guarantee that I love you very much.
And you are the prettyful one ♥

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 04:24 pm UTC (link)
i'm scared of being alone, i'm scared because i know no one wants me.
i'm just not good enough.

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-24 07:43 pm UTC (link)
i wish we were closer because you are amazing.
i'm also so proud of you.
:) that's all i have to say.

i love youuuuu.

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-25 10:03 pm UTC (link)
I think I know who this isssssssss :)
I LUV U 2 BABYCAKES (even though I'm never on AIM).

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2007-07-25 04:57 am UTC (link)
i don't know what the answers are.
& i wish i did, for the both of us.
i get worried sometimes, about recovery,
because i know it means i have to leave certain people behind.
i'm not strong enough to move forward & yet leave one leg in the eating disordered world.
i think that's why sometimes i sabotage my own recovery,
because i'm scared of succeeding & others not keeping up.
i'm scared that i'll never recover.

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[info]dis_x_enchanted
2007-07-25 10:44 pm UTC (link)
this is sara's journal, but i felt that i had to comment on this
because i have the same fear, so often. i'm terrified.. of just this.
sometimes i get scared because i'm not sure if i want to...
what would i have in it's place? who would i be? what next..?
the things i'd have to leave behind. the things that you have to give up -
& never replace. i'm so scared it paralyses me.
i thought i wanted to be someone... do something.

but - it's all a choice. 'it really is that simple'
when you're ready to let go, you will
when you're ready to move on, you'll be able to
maybe it's just time now? finding the moment..
but, it's possible. it's got to be. it just has to be.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]hope_is_swift
2007-07-26 08:26 am UTC (link)
i shouldn't be surprised that this made sense to you, little sister.
i'm not so great at being anonymous when it comes down to it, anyway.
x

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[info]dis_x_enchanted
2007-07-26 11:27 am UTC (link)
that's why sisters are sisters, pants. x

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-25 05:31 am UTC (link)
i get the feeling there's something huge that happened in your past, that plagues you, that makes it hard for you to feel ok now. it worries me, because i think you're truly amazing, and i wish you were happier with yourself. but i don't want to be nosy and ask what it was.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-25 10:01 pm UTC (link)
The funny thing is, nothing hugely traumatic happened in my past.
I mean, I don't know if I minimize it because it's no longer going on,
but the only thing that's linked to my eating disorder that continues to
weigh on me is the emotional distress my mother's undiagnosed self caused me.
She was very angry/volatile/hostile a lot of the time, but I don't really remember it.
I have a few memories & that's it. I minimize it because I think,
"These other girls have gone through so much and I was just a kid
who got yelled at a lot. Big deal!" and I end up paralyzing myself/staying stuck
because of these judgments. I don't know if I'm making sense.. but, that's my story :)

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-25 10:39 pm UTC (link)
i dont think you like me anymore, and i dont know why. i dont know if ive done something... but i miss you.i really really miss you. and now im crying. greaaaat. oh sara-pop. x

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[info]the_aristobrat
2007-07-26 01:21 pm UTC (link)
EMMA!? I wish I didn't give off that impression! (If this isn't Emma, I still mean it!)
I tend to be really good at avoiding my friends' list just because commenting on all those entries is so overwhelming.
I love you. I really do! I wish i didn't make you cry. I wish I didn't make you think that way.
I don't know what else I can say other than I truly do love you. No matter what you think :P

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-25 11:13 pm UTC (link)
even though i don't love him, i want him to love me.

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-27 01:00 am UTC (link)
i really hope in the coming months i get to know you more, because from what i can see, you are definately worth getting to know. & i think you are really pretty too. ♥

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(Anonymous)
2007-07-30 04:08 am UTC (link)
i hate myself and want to die

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(Anonymous)
2007-09-09 06:03 am UTC (link)
i'm so jealous of my bestfriend that i feel so lonely

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(Anonymous)
2007-12-13 08:22 am UTC (link)
i got my best friend into modelling. now she is doing really well and is probably going to be signed with img and head off to new york. i am excited for her. but it turned her into a bitch. she looks down on me, and thinks i am jealous of her. how can i not be?

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2008-02-28 04:32 pm UTC (link)
i REALLY like this guy; he's kind, funny, sweet and is awesome on acoustic guitar. what really irritates me is that guys that i like are ALWAYS going for my beautiful friends. whenever i get close with them, turns out he's going for either one of them. i just wish for once, they'd like me for me, and my friends are just...girls to them.

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(Anonymous)
2008-12-25 08:24 pm UTC (link)
i know how you feel. I am the plain jane to my BEAUTIFUL friends.
and it sucks

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